Honesty

“Honesty refers to a facet of moral character and connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, and straightforwardness, including straightforwardness of conduct, along with the absence of lying, cheating, theft, etc. Furthermore, honesty means being trustworthy, loyal, fair, and sincere. Honesty is valued in many ethnic and religious cultures. “Honesty is the best policy” is a proverb of Benjamin Franklin and the quote “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom” is attributed to Thomas Jefferson.”

I value honesty above pretty much every other personal trait, so when I am faced with a loved one being dishonest I tend to get a bit crazy. I’ve been in relationships based on lies and filled with lies. No happiness can come from a relationship like that. The truth hurts. Yes, it does, but that is not an excuse for doing it. And, might I add, it is never okay to blame a lie on somebody else’s actions. As in, I lied because I knew the truth would hurt you. (Lamest excuse ever.) Lying is never the answer. Some people say that they lie to avoid confrontation, but the reality is that the truth always come out and by that time the original confrontation has been compounded by the lie. So why not just fess up? Fear? Most likely. That minuscule chance that the truth won’t come out and you can actually get away with it? Bit of a crap shoot really, but some are willing to take that chance.

Right, so now I will come down off my high horse and admit that this has become a hard post to write because, as nutty as I am about being honest, I can’t say that I have always been 100% honest with everybody in my life. So, am I a hypocrite? What have I lied about? Say I am faced with not wanting to do something, I have been known to make up an excuse why I can’t do it. “Sorry I can’t make it to your party but I have other plans”. My other plans involve a glass of wine, pajamas and a book. A white lie some would say. Is there a difference? Is there a line that separates little lies from big lies? Or are all lies just that. Lies. Is it better to be a bit dishonest in order to be politically correct? “Yes, that style of dress looks great on you.” Or are you just as guilty as the guy who lies on his tax return?

Have you ever seen the Jim Carey movie, Liar Liar. A man is cursed by a wish from his son so that he can not tell a lie. A funny premise, but could it actually work in real life? Being honest (I prefer to call it being authentic) has certainly gotten me in trouble in the past. I don’t always sugar coat things. If I don’t like you or something you have said I’m typically going to let you know. I’m also not going to pretend that everything is okay when it’s not. If something is bugging me, you will know. Do I worry about hurting people’s feelings? Sure, and I’m pretty sure I have probably done that in the past. Would it be better to not tell them what I think? Is that different from telling an outright lie?

So, having completely talked myself in a circle the question remains unanswered. Is it ever okay to be dishonest? The Best Thing in Life is being truthful in admitting that life is hard to navigate sometimes and knowing what is right and what is wrong isn’t always clear.

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2 thoughts on “Honesty

  1. Miriam November 13, 2014 / 7:17 pm

    I also value honesty, and cannot stand being lied to. Fortunately I can usually tell when someone is lying to me. I don’t think it’s possible to be honest 100% of the time though. I can’t think of anything I’ve lied about for a really long time, but when I was younger there were times when I lied (out of embarrassment or for some other silly reason, I don’t really remember).
    But I do believe that so called “white lies” are in a different category. If the truth is going to hurt someone’s feelings in an unnecessary way, then I think that kindness is a greater good. But that’s just my opinion. Great post!

  2. Maia Blessings October 2, 2015 / 7:52 am

    Honour and Integrity has always been paramount to me .. took me way to long though not to give to many chances but to also Honour myself and my boundaries .. after I finally walked away .. I was told that it was easier for me at 6 to keep a promise, (one that I had made to my pappa at his deathbed ) .. than it was for my 18 year older sibling at 60 to keep one … for 40 something years I tried to explain the importance of truth and honesty to those I grew up amongst .. but all along they only put down and refused my talk of Angels and Guardians … but I guess my talk of that and mr Death after my near death experiences freaked them out … It shaped my life.. made it easy to take responsibility even for my own thoughts .. a lie is never worth it … whoever small .. & LOVE is nothing without TRUTH …

    Its rather Beautiful how Free Will makes our choices Magical … even the appointments with oneself a good movie n a great glass of wine 😉 We are allowed to have plans with ourselves .. & just simply to say NO … but darn that took me a long .. looooooonng time to learn

    Wonderful post ❤ Thank you for sharing

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