My Addiction



My addiction began very early in life.  My fiends and family may have known something was up……but I don’t think they would have ever guessed how bad things got.

I have a picture of me as a very young girl in the kitchen of my parents home.  I’m standing on a stool, a big wooden spoon in my hand, chocolate pudding (or chocolate cake batter) all over my face.  I was sooooo happy.  The sweetness racing though my body and triggering the dopamine that creates the ultimate chocolate high.  It could have stopped there.  But we all know that it didn’t.  I was hooked.

choc bars

I remember being in elementary school and getting my allowance on Saturday mornings.  I would take that money and walk about a mile to the closest corner store to buy……you guessed it, chocolate.  But I felt guilty buying too much at one store so I would split it up and go to three stores.  Harry’s Market, the grocery store and then the drug store.  I figured I would get less disapproving stares if I bought one candy bar at a time and not three.  Whatever it took to get my fix.

Then there was Switzerland when I was in my early twenties.  Some days it would be a toss up.  Would I have dinner or some chocolate?  I could have potatoe soup anytime.  But Toblerone wasn’t readily available in North America then and I may not taste it again for, well, weeks. A few weeks after we had left Switzerland my traveling companions gave me some Swiss chocolate for my birthday.  I think I scared them a little when I hugged them.  For half an hour.


In my thirties not a day would go by that I wouldn’t have chocolate.  And I wasn’t picky.  Mars Bars.  Mint Patties.  Maltesers.  Oh Henry.  Lindt Bars.  Hersheys Kisses.  Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.  Halloween Minis.  Kit Kat.  Easter Eggs that I stole from my nephews.  Ferraro Rocher.  Three Musketeers.  Need I go on?  I would hit up any vending machine that would take my money.

At thirty four I went to work for Starbucks and was introduced to a new taste.  Dark chocolate.  A fellow employee once said to me.

“People who don’t like dark chocolate simply have unrefined palates”.

dark chocolate

I’m not sure that she was right but I will say that coffee does taste better with a nice piece of dark chocolate on the side.  Really it was just another option to feed the monkey on my back.

Then came Nutella.  Oh how I loved Nutella.  At first it was just a little dab on toast or a waffle.  But slowly it became a mandatory after dinner treat.  I’d quietly get a spoon out of the drawer while “doing the dishes” and dip it into the jar.  How it melted on my tongue as I licked it off the spoon.  So sweet.  So smooth.  So creamy.  The Europeans really know how to do sinful don’t they?


Then came the day that all of the sneaking and over indulging came back to haunt me.  I knew it would.  Nothing that good can last forever.  The doctor said I needed to go cold turkey.  No sugar for at least 6 weeks.  What?  Are you kidding me?

Sadly, she was not.

I knew I had to do it for my health.  I wasn’t going to last long if I didn’t make some serious changes. I did my six weeks and got clean.  That was two years ago.  Have I fallen off the wagon?  Of course.

The Best Thing in Life is moderation.

10 thoughts on “My Addiction

  1. George April 29, 2016 / 8:28 pm

    There are few things in life as addictive my fun as chocolate and Nutella brings that addiction to a whole new level. ..:)

  2. Life of Janine April 30, 2016 / 6:59 pm

    It can be done! I’ve be on no added sugar since late January and I feel … Great! I substituted decaf coffee for an after dinner dessert (or ice cream … mmmm). Sleep better, losing weight!

  3. Tina May 1, 2016 / 1:40 am

    Susan, I was and still am not a huge chocolate fan, however give me a tub of cashew nuts or peanuts and I’ll quite happily work my way through those. Biscuits too with a cup of tea at least 4 to dunk in, basically I’m a pig!!!! Lol with no off button, hey ho!!!

  4. mariner2mother May 1, 2016 / 1:23 pm

    I hear you, but for me it wasn’t chocolate, it was sugar. I discovered during a hypnosis session what had caused the cravings all those years, and was able to heal it. I had to kick it for health reasons too, and have done so. Good for you for being able to do it.

  5. camparigirl May 3, 2016 / 1:51 pm

    Picture growing up in a European country with a father who often travelled to Switzerland and brought back all kinds of goodies. Ah the gluttony! Yet, I have been six months without sugar. A piece of chocolate now and then because, let’s face it, there are fewer things that are more satisfying.

  6. candidkay May 5, 2016 / 7:29 pm

    Wow! From chocolate lover to cold turkey for 6 weeks–that’s not easy! I’m not addicted, but I do like chocolate. Had crepes with Nutella and strawberries last weekend–amazing!

  7. cbecker53 September 14, 2016 / 4:14 pm

    I’m hooked on chocolate too. I love dark chocolate too. If we have it in the house I try to parcel it out very carefully over time. I will never try to swear off chocolate completely. Love the photos in this post!

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