My addiction began very early in life. My fiends and family may have known something was up……but I don’t think they would have ever guessed how bad things got.
I have a picture of me as a very young girl in the kitchen of my parents home. I’m standing on a stool, a big wooden spoon in my hand, chocolate pudding (or chocolate cake batter) all over my face. I was sooooo happy. The sweetness racing though my body and triggering the dopamine that creates the ultimate chocolate high. It could have stopped there. But we all know that it didn’t. I was hooked.
I remember being in elementary school and getting my allowance on Saturday mornings. I would take that money and walk about a mile to the closest corner store to buy……you guessed it, chocolate. But I felt guilty buying too much at one store so I would split it up and go to three stores. Harry’s Market, the grocery store and then the drug store. I figured I would get less disapproving stares if I bought one candy bar at a time and not three. Whatever it took to get my fix.
Then there was Switzerland when I was in my early twenties. Some days it would be a toss up. Would I have dinner or some chocolate? I could have potatoe soup anytime. But Toblerone wasn’t readily available in North America then and I may not taste it again for, well, weeks. A few weeks after we had left Switzerland my traveling companions gave me some Swiss chocolate for my birthday. I think I scared them a little when I hugged them. For half an hour.
In my thirties not a day would go by that I wouldn’t have chocolate. And I wasn’t picky. Mars Bars. Mint Patties. Maltesers. Oh Henry. Lindt Bars. Hersheys Kisses. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Halloween Minis. Kit Kat. Easter Eggs that I stole from my nephews. Ferraro Rocher. Three Musketeers. Need I go on? I would hit up any vending machine that would take my money.
At thirty four I went to work for Starbucks and was introduced to a new taste. Dark chocolate. A fellow employee once said to me.
“People who don’t like dark chocolate simply have unrefined palates”.
I’m not sure that she was right but I will say that coffee does taste better with a nice piece of dark chocolate on the side. Really it was just another option to feed the monkey on my back.
Then came Nutella. Oh how I loved Nutella. At first it was just a little dab on toast or a waffle. But slowly it became a mandatory after dinner treat. I’d quietly get a spoon out of the drawer while “doing the dishes” and dip it into the jar. How it melted on my tongue as I licked it off the spoon. So sweet. So smooth. So creamy. The Europeans really know how to do sinful don’t they?
Then came the day that all of the sneaking and over indulging came back to haunt me. I knew it would. Nothing that good can last forever. The doctor said I needed to go cold turkey. No sugar for at least 6 weeks. What? Are you kidding me?
Sadly, she was not.
I knew I had to do it for my health. I wasn’t going to last long if I didn’t make some serious changes. I did my six weeks and got clean. That was two years ago. Have I fallen off the wagon? Of course.
The Best Thing in Life is moderation.